The 5 Stages of Moving

1. Denial

This isn't going to be so bad. I don't have that much stuff. Basically every time I go out I lose (at least) a jacket, so moving is going to be easy.

 2. Anger

Where the fuck did all this shit come from?!


3. Bargaining

I don't need 20 pairs of shoes. I'll get rid of 10 pairs.

...

Okay, I'll just get rid of these flip flops and my old Sperry's that smell like low tide.


4. Depression

I'm never buying anything again. Nobody should have this much stuff. Honestly, who is this materialistic? There's something very wrong with me.


5. Acceptance

I will "pay" one of my car-owning friends to help me.

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